Of Butterflies and Books

I know I’ve said this before, but this is going to be a short post this week. (Of course short for me is usually around 300 words) I have a lot of things going on in my life right now and yes, most of them are good. I’m editing two books right now, so those projects are going to be taking up a lot of time. I will still post something here every week, but right now, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. I’m sure as soon as I get into my projects and figure out a schedule, I’ll feel better, but right now…wow.

Things are going back to normal again. Mom is doing fine and so am I, so for right now, everything is fine. Troubles come and troubles go, we endure, we survive, we become weak and worn out and then we embolden ourselves so that we can carry on the best that we can.

There is nothing more we can ask of ourselves than that.

One day at a time, my friends, which makes me remember the “Serenity Prayer” that my father used to recite. He learned it in AA, but it contains some real words of wisdom.

“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”

I’m not a believer in repeating the same prayers day after day, but there are some elemental truths in these words.

We cannot change cancer. We can fight it and hope we survive. We can change our attitudes and how we deal with things. We can even change our lifestyles in hopes of preventing cancer or other ailments. Of course, the bottom line is having the “wisdom to know the difference,” between what we can change and what we can’t. I can’t bring back my father or mend the relationship we had, and I can’t make my mom’s cancer go away or her breasts grow back, but I can decide to do something proactive for the cancer community, which is part of the reason I write this blog every week.

There is something in the offing here, but I’m not going to announce it just yet.

So back to wisdom. Many of us forget to be wise. I know I’ve forgotten it on more than one occasion.

For me, right now my wisdom comes from knowing that I need to step back from a few things, so that I can work on these projects, while having the energy to take care of mom and myself.

I’m feeling hopeful, which is great. It’s been a long time coming. I feel like a butterfly who is easing out of its cocoon.

I wish us all the serenity of those words, along with hope, strength and wisdom.

Have a great week.

Love,

Rachel

This entry was posted in Caregiving, Coping, Dad, hope, Mom, wisdome and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Of Butterflies and Books

  1. Jinxie G says:

    You want to know the beauty of WordPress? I can access it from my phone! ;)

    Rach, I love ya, girl. *hugs* That poem has circled my mind a lot in the past couple of years. So has the “Footprints” poem.

    We will both endure, chica, as will our mothers.

  2. KjM says:

    Wisdom – that is understanding. Understanding ourselves, what we can do, and that subset of those things – what we *must* do.

    I’ve gained a little understanding of myself over the years (there’s been enough years, something had to be understood by now – one would hope).

    I may yet get to do something about those things I *must* do (a work in progress if ever there was one).

    I doubt I’ll ever really understand what I can do.

    You, however, seem to have a good handle on the above, Rachel. I’d envy you if I weren’t so jealous. :D

    • Blackbirdsong says:

      Jealous of me, Kevin? Puleeeze, dude. You’re one of the best poets I know and you’re Irish. I bet hearing you read your work must be wonderful. Meanwhile I have this awful Upstate NY accent where I talk through my nose. I’m jealous of you. :)

      I think we each find out kind of wisdom. What works for us in our particular situation, and so on. So what is wise for one person, may not be another.

      • KjM says:

        I’m jealous – deal with it. OK? :)

        But thank you for this: “…one of the best poets I know…”

        I love to write stories, but poetry is my first love, and will be my last.

        • Blackbirdsong says:

          Hahahah, OK Kevin. :) Well it definitely shows. Me too, actually. I think that’s why I like to write in poetic prose.

  3. Lanita says:

    I was cruising around your blog site and I came across something you wrote in your About section. You said that cancer doesn’t just take away, it also gives. I recently “celebrated” my 15th breast cancer anniversary. Your words rang true, because in the last 15 years, I have learned more and been given more of life than the two breasts that were taken away. I have always said the best thing thing that could have happened to me and I would never trade in the experiences.

    By the way, the artwork on your blog is beautiful.

    • Blackbirdsong says:

      Thank you so much, Lanita. I had to take time before responding to you, because your words really touched me.

      You honor me too well. I have gained so much from listening to cancer survivors. I guess it’s another one of the gifts it leaves behind; this joy in living that they didn’t have before.

      Thank you Lanita.

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