Of a Nearby Lamp

Her hair fell softly
As her voice rose
In shock to mourn
The last thing lost
Which she’d held onto it
Like hope
Had fallen away
Like yesterday’s dreams.

She told herself that as long as she hadn’t lost her hair,
That the chemo hadn’t really touched her,
But the chemo would have the final say in that matter
Doctors and nurses said nothing about this
Inevitability
Allowing her to believe
That this was how it would be
And all would be well
Until it fell.

I noticed her thinning hair
But hoped that my eyes mistook
What they saw
They weren’t.
She called me to see
The hair that just came out
In clumps every time she
Touched her head
Or fell like rain
With every turn of her neck
The hairbrush was full
Her pillow a furry creature
Born during sleep

It’s OK, momma.
It will grow back.

What do I know
Except how to try to be hopeful
In my sad attempts
To make this transition
Somehow easier?

I kiss her scalp
Everyday
And tell her that’s she beautiful
She really is
Even though she resembles
A troll doll now
Because of the few wisps
Of hair that remains.

There is beauty in strength
Her face glows with it
As her scalp reflects the light
Of a nearby lamp.

5 Responses to Of a Nearby Lamp

  1. Wookiesgirl says:
    June 29, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    This is beautiful Rachel..I can feel the love you have for your mother. Its a gift! Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  2. james blaylock says:
    September 14, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Heartfelt and touching. Sometimes hope is hard to come by, but still we must fight to keep it by our side. Nothing is hopeless… everything can change for the better… we just have to make up our minds to embrace it, and cling tightly to its light. My thoughts are prayers are with you, Rach.

    Reply
  3. Carl Lagrange says:
    October 23, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    Rachel, I have tears in my eyes. So beautiful! I can see the love you have with every word. Thank you for sharing something so humanly precious. Carl

    Reply

Leave a comment