There are stories about people going crazy because of cabin fever. Mom and I have been snowed in for a few weeks now. OK, mom has. I live in fear of her falling because even though she’s stronger, she’s still a bit unsteady (in fact she fell today). I’ve had to trudge out to get groceries, but to be honest, I’m content to stay in. I don’t mind the snow. I’ve lived up here all of my life, but ice is unforgiving and I’m not great at walking on it, especially with a bum leg. I don’t fall very often, but since mom has been sick and now that she’s recovering, I’ve become especially mindful of keeping myself healthy for her sake. In other words, I’ve become paranoid about falling.
But don’t worry about us, we haven’t gone crazy and in fact, we’re warm, well-fed and content.
I think mom and I must have an ancestor who was a bear, because we’ve always been content to hibernate. We even used to play a game when I was a little girl, where we pretended to be momma bear and baby bear.
Mom still thinks she’s the momma bear, of course. But really, I think most moms are like that. Cancer did not remove that protective, overbearing (no pun intended, OK maybe just a little bit) aspect of her that both gets on my nerves and endears her to me.
I’ve kept myself busy doing my job (I work from home), taking care of things around the house and spending time with mom in the evenings. Some would find this boring and perhaps those are the types who get cabin fever, but as I’ve said, mom and I are related to bears.
But just wait until spring comes. We’re already planning how we’re going to go for walks. First, we’ll start with the driveway and then as mom continues to get stronger, we’ll graduate to walking up and down our streets, the mall and beyond.
OK, so maybe that’s not exciting to you, but for us, it’s big.
Recovery from chemo can be slow going, I guess. But in my experience, healing is always a slow going process. We take our steps, one at a time, through snow, ice, good weather and bad, until we are walking beyond the past into whatever the future brings.
Until then, we are snowed in.
(P.S. I know the photograph I used isn’t of hibernating bears. But a photo like that would probably be dangerous to take and it would only show sleeping bears. Mom and I aren’t sleeping. We’re both keeping busy. I however, am not riding her back anymore. Well, not unless she’s getting on my nerves.)
Our front lawn
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What Cancer Brings 
Doesn’t sound boring to me – actually sounds a lot like my life (except when you add little kids there is a bit more of the ‘you are driving me crazy’ factor involved – haha) Love those bears!
Hey Gabrielle,
Thank you for the comment. As I said before, boring is good. Boring means that nothing bad has happened. I am content with being bored. Of course with little kids, you’re never bored, but that’s a whole different ballgame.
Yeah but they get bored – haha. My Mum used to say ‘only boring people get bored’ and now I say that to my kids (just to annoy them 😉 ).
Mom used to say that too. She used to make me read the dictionary when I got bored. Taught me not to say it, but then I liked learning some of those new words. Now my idea of boring isn’t so much about being bored, but more about lacking in drama. I can live without drama. Unless I start it of course 🙂
Ah–Spring—I am usually reallly big on spring. in fact, I’ve been thinking about spring lately. I too am content to “nest”, in fact I am a big nester. But I have been thinking what my garden will look like this spring. It is not the garden I had for the last 33 years, it is a very different garden. After moving and changing every garden in my yard last year, it will be exciting to see what it will all look like come spring. But after yesterday, I am not quite ready. We have had so much snow and ice built up on the house, that with the warmer temp yesterday, it has been leaking here, there and everywhere. Mark helped me chop ice off the roof today, and I emptied pails of water. Now that the temp has gone down, the pouring water out of my back door has slowed down. Thank goodness. I am tired. There will be a lot of water running this spring.
Don’t get too comfortable.
Love,
Carol
Oh yes Carol. I remember the give garden move of last year. You worked so hard only to be told that you didn’t have to do it afterwards. Nice. But your garden is always beautiful. So I can’t imagine it being different this year.
Mom and I got woken up at 6 AM because of ice melting off our roof and crashing to the ground.
Love you right back 🙂
Sorry to hear she fell again but glad she is ok. How are you? It seems to be the norm that when there is bad weather, I like hibernating too. Have to admit that I do get ‘cabin fever’ when I am forced to stay in. Being sick last week didn’t help matters but all the same, I do like to be outside when the sun is shining. Spring and Fall are my favorite times of the year. I try to remember, “Another day closer.”
Hi Diana, thank you for the comment and the good words. Yeah, it’s always something, isn’t it? Thank you for the reminder and glad you’re feeling better.
“…healing is always a slow going process…until we are walking beyond the past into whatever the future brings.”
Isn’t it though? But I’ve never seen nor heard it expressed so succinctly, nor so beautifully as you’re done in this entry.
Even within the maelstrom that your and your Mom’s journey represents, you seem to possess a stillness at your center that attests to your strength.
It is good to read your words.
Thank you Kevin. I think those words came from some of my feelings about healing. We always want it over as quickly as possible. One of my friends called mom wondering why she wasn’t back to her old self already. This happened only a few days after she finished radiation. It’s either that or they compare how someone else recovered with how mom is doing. So I’ve had a few discussions with them. I’ve had some with myself as well, but it is, what it is. I think part of healing is not only looking forward, but looking back to see how far you’ve come.
It’s good to have my words read.